Ever have that knot-in-your-stomach feeling when you are about to give a speech in front of a large group? Or when you are about to take a test? Or when the boss calls you into his or her office to have a talk? Now, imagine having that feeling all of the time. That is the story of my life.
Some people might say to me: “Hey, don’t worry to much.” or “There is no reason to be nervous about that test/speech/one-one meeting.” This would be my thought: “Really? Why, how do you do that? Please share your secret with me as I have no idea how to not to be anxious.”
The constant symptoms of anxiety are always with me: feelings of panic, fear, and uneasiness; uncontrollable or obsessive thoughts; inability to be still and calm; repeated thoughts or flashbacks of traumatic experiences; problems sleeping; cold or sweaty hands and/or feet; nausea and/or dizziness.
My anxiety and the physical symptoms it can cause can also give way to panic attacks. A panic attack is characterized by difficulty breathing, pounding heart or chest pain, intense feeling of terror, sensation of choking or smothering, and trembling or shaking.
Currently, I am able manage my symptoms; however, this was not always the case. In February of 2010, I started cognitive behavioral therapy. In March of 2010, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). My therapist diagnosed me by having me keep a weekly journal on events in my life that caused me to feel anxious. I would then rate each event on a scale from 0-10 with 10 being extreme anxiety leading to a panic attack. Most of my daily interactions ranged from a 3 to a 9. This was curious to her as I never show any signs of anxiety (expect for the occasional panic attack) and appear to be calm and in control. The answer is very simple: at a young age, I was taught that showing emotion was bad so I learned not to do it.
She immediately suggested medication but I declined as I wanted to experience life clearly; not through the haze of pills. She proceeded in the following months to teach me how to meditate, which ultimately saved my life. I have not had a panic attack since October 2009 and have managed to keep my symptoms somewhat at bay ever since discontinuing therapy in August 2010.
Ultimately, I have learned to deal with the occasional stomach knot. Anxiety will always be a part of my life but I do not have to let it control me. The lifestyle changes I have made will hopefully help me to continue to manage my problem so that I never had to feel another crippling panic attack ever again.
Please visit WebMD for more information about GAD, SAD, and other anxiety disorders:
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/default.htm
